I found this post from patricia stoltey killer-first-sentences about how the first sentence can draw readers in or repel them forever.
I think mine needs help..I know mine needs attention.
The day begins lazily as I sit quietly in my warm, sunny window seat, watching the trees sway in the warm April breeze.
From here, the story heats up, but not sure, maybe I could just get rid of the whole sentence altogether...
Help?!
Editing in first paragraph...maybe it will make more sense with the rest..
The day begins lazily as I sit quietly in my warm, sunny window seat, watching the trees sway in the
warm April breeze. My legs luxuriously stretch out on the dark blue, velvety padding. My silky night
shirt clings to my body. Taking in the scenery of the neighborhood so alive outside, my eyes wander,
as usual, down to the driveway of the new neighbor. The sight of him causes my breath to catch and
my pulse quickens slightly.
The flash of the sun glinting off the just waxed hood of my neighbor’s obvious pride and joy, a black
Charger, almost blinds me. I blink several times and upon recovering my wits, find my eyes on a pair
of rock hard calves, following them up to a perfectly chiseled ass in a low cut pair of red gym shorts.
His overworked abs flex and pull as he reaches over the hood to grab a towel.
Please be kind :)