hiding from life for a while

I lost my dad last weekend.
he has been sick for a few years and slowly getting worse.
but it was unexpected.
truly
he was in his favorite room. the kitchen
probably going to bake a cake or something.
he loved to do that.

after dealing with the chaos this has created
I have to pull myself back into life
I am thinking that this weekend is a good start.

I thank everyone who helped out
all my coworkers and friends who didn't make me feel guilty for taking a week off work
everyone who donated money to help with the funeral expenses..
every well wish, comforting thought, prayer... no matter who you prayed to..
I seriously appreciate it all..

I know now that my dad is traveling the world with my mom. I'm sure she was getting tired of waiting for him.
they are enjoying the rest of their existence happily doing whatever they please.
and this helps
brings me peace
somewhat

it is going to be hard to fill the void left. the phone calls. the dr visits. the grocery shopping. the cleaning. the library trips. the worrying.. the holidays..
I could go on..

but I need to focus on the good things.
they are at peace. and happy.
no more pain
no more stress

I am just about ready to hop back on the life wagon
it will just take some time

 this is the true dad. always running around with no shirt. it made him happy. who's gonna tell him no?

love you mama!

June

I'm gonna be buuuuusy!!!

I've decided to torture myself yet again..
I love that I can be arm twisted into these things
lol

I have signed up for BuNoWriMo in June..
(stolen from the Tart's blog)

So what IS BuNoWriMo? The Burrow Novel Writing Month.




When: The 30 days in June.



What: Write at least 50,000 words in the 30 days of June.


How: Very similar rules as NaNoWriMo... The traditional version means you can't start until June 1 and you write 'a whole book' (50,000 words worth anyway) in the month, but like NaNoWriMo, rebels are welcome... rebels would be people who continue on an already started WiP, people who write collections of shorts or non-fiction, people who want to set their OWN rules... It really just just a support system for a fast paced writing month.

What we DISCOURAGE is editing as you go. The point of writing fast is to let go of that inner editor so you can get the WORK done. Rewriting can come LATER.

If you are interested in joining us, just go here and join... that simple... then you will get the updates via facebook message (about weekly this month, maybe twice a week in June—we won't clog your inbox)

But for NOW: tie up those loose ends! Do whatever outlining or character sketching you like to accomplish pre-writing... get that brain going on your novel idea...

And resign yourself to the fact that when I am part of the planning committee, you will often hear you need to just get naked.


so.. I am going to be in the rebel category and try to finish my wip that I started last year..

this month

I am going to commit to learning more about the Pagan way of life.
at first.. I thought it was going to be easy.
I truly thought I chose this path.
but in all reality.. it chose me.
it found me.
so
I will do all I can to nurture my spirituality as best I can.
I started yesterday, by going to yoga.
this is the most peaceful thing I can do.
it truly resets your mind and body. if you let it.
baby steps.

I have lots of books on my shelf. I suppose I should actually read them. not just flip to a page and go from there.
or.. maybe I should just flip to more pages. more often.

I am glad I am "friends" with a few of the greatest people, to maybe help me out.. I'm sure I will be a pain.

but I truly want to know everything I can.
to embrace the life.

I will be working on my "art journal" as well. this will make me happy. I can create and learn at the same time :)

wish me luck!