hiding from life for a while

I lost my dad last weekend.
he has been sick for a few years and slowly getting worse.
but it was unexpected.
truly
he was in his favorite room. the kitchen
probably going to bake a cake or something.
he loved to do that.

after dealing with the chaos this has created
I have to pull myself back into life
I am thinking that this weekend is a good start.

I thank everyone who helped out
all my coworkers and friends who didn't make me feel guilty for taking a week off work
everyone who donated money to help with the funeral expenses..
every well wish, comforting thought, prayer... no matter who you prayed to..
I seriously appreciate it all..

I know now that my dad is traveling the world with my mom. I'm sure she was getting tired of waiting for him.
they are enjoying the rest of their existence happily doing whatever they please.
and this helps
brings me peace
somewhat

it is going to be hard to fill the void left. the phone calls. the dr visits. the grocery shopping. the cleaning. the library trips. the worrying.. the holidays..
I could go on..

but I need to focus on the good things.
they are at peace. and happy.
no more pain
no more stress

I am just about ready to hop back on the life wagon
it will just take some time

 this is the true dad. always running around with no shirt. it made him happy. who's gonna tell him no?

love you mama!