TOP 10 REASONS WHY WITCHES DON'T WORSHIP THE DEVIL...
#10. Scorch marks on the furniture whenever Satan manifests.
#9. Not even Lysol can mask the smell of brimstone.
#8. It's hard to keep the flaming goat skulls lit when Satan isn't around.
#7. It's getting hard to find any blond virgins.
#6. Repeated stooping motion from administering the 'kiss of shame' is hard on the older coven members.
#5. Cat keeps playing with Satan's tail, which really annoys him.
#4. Demons smell worse than the brimstone.
#3. Blood from sacrifices is hard to get out of the carpet.
#2. The wailing of the dammed souls in hell keeps the neighbors awake at night.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY WITCHES DO NOT WORSHIP SATAN IS...
(DRUM ROLL PLEASE..)
#1. We cannot worship something that doesn't exist.