Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Learning for myself (don't read if you might get offended)

I sat the other night, with my Wicca bible..I read almost three fourths of it..then I started getting tired and stopped, but I learned so much. I learned that there are several Wiccan paths, I just need to let one find me. I may even make my own, it is up to the Goddess.. somehow, typing Goddess just makes me smile. It makes me feel happy inside. Not feeling like I'm lost anymore, I have something I can believe in. I can actually grasp nature, I can see the wonderfulness of life. I know that's not really a word, but I like it.
I love that I can choose what I believe in, that I don't have to be forgiven for something I didn't do. I love that I can worship alone or find others that share my same love. I can walk outside and feel the little changes in the world, some good, some bad..but always there. I can't wait to learn more.
I don't want to offend anyone by this post, I am just sharing my thoughts. I have never really believed in "God" as most of my friends and family know. I tried to grasp the concept of a man that controls the souls of everyone on earth, making them ask for his forgivness to be worthy of his love..or something to that effect. I tried. I really did. I just didn't fit. I want to be able to have my peace and be accepted for that, everyone had their beliefs, and that is great.
I finally found something that gives me peace, and it is awesome!
Again, please don't be offended, I don't want to chase any of my friends away.. I am still me, just not spiraling through this universe uncontrollably anymore. I am not quite ready to be completely out of the "broom closet" but I am slowly letting things out..Hopefully not too much.

5 comments:

Candi said...

I am happy you found something to give you some peace inside, and if other people are so worried about what you are doing that they get offended, do you really care? One thing you will learn in life is that no one can make you feel bad without your permission. And, if they do it often enough, your big sis will still come thru wit ha smack down. I didn't swear those oaths to defend the constitution of this country to let ANYONE be told what to believe, much less my family. So, I got your back, baby. No matter what.

*The_Fisher_Family* said...

I think everyone has a right to believe in whatever makes them feel at peace and I have always believed that if you believe in something weather its "god" or the "devil" or gods and goodess or whatever you choose-your not damned lol!(well unless you want to be) I dont believe drinking is a sin and I dont think I going to hell just because I had pre-marital sex but thats just my thought. No offense is taken here and I think its great you dont feel like you are spiraling lost in this world and that you have found that your feet have reached the ground on your choosen path. :)

Sugar Whiting said...

Thanks guys!

Semi-Hippie Single Mama said...

I was born and raised Catholic and spent the first 21 years of my life feeling guilty for nto being able to blindly believe what I was told to believe. It's a very lonely feeling because you don't want anyone to look down on you for it so you keep it inside.
I finally broke free after hearing about Buddhism for the first time in a phylosophy class. The professor told us that Buddha came up with these ideas that worked for him so he wanted others to try them and if they didn't work, hopefully you find something that does.

I've just started looking into Wiccan myself because it also just makes sense to me. Happy to join you on the journey!

totegirl said...

I can feel your happiness! And that is nothing to apologize for. :)